"Who will care for me when I am old?"

I love this man..

 

I have to give a shout out for Logan!!

 

He truly is my soul mate!

 

He builds me up and gives me hope!

 

and when I am feeling crazy : } he still loves me and is crazy with me...

 

The other night I dreamt that he died and I said to him (in my dream)

 you can't die and leave me to be a widow and fatherless.  I awoke and was so sad!  but I looked over and there he was sleeping and I felt grateful..

 

Mourning is quite a process.

 

I read a book my Mom lent me called The Gateway We Call Death by Russell M. Nelson

 

It is a great book!  I would recommend it!

 

Chapter 7 of the book is entitled When Adults Die. "The only length of life that seems to satisfy the longings of the human heart is life everlasting."

 

Nelson talking about his parents in their 90's his mother with a terminal illness and his father taking care of her says this.  "We learned from their example that true love is not a matter of moonlight and roses.  True love compassionately responds to the question, Who will care for me when I am old?"

 

I have pondered a lot on this...

 

I am grateful for moonlight and roses from Logan, but I am also grateful that he takes care of me. 

I hope that Logan and I can always care for one another...

Threw moonlight and roses!

 

 

 

Watching my parents I saw true love...

 

March 2013 Huntsman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lay in the Sun

"Just as the body goes into shock after a physical trauma.

 

So does the human Psyche go into shock after the impact of a major loss." unknown

 

so...

 

 

and embrace our loved ones!

 

 

Jesus, my soul's in your hands

How do you put into words the feelings of a 4 year journey (cancer), a 65 year journey (Dad's life) or a 40 year journey (my life with Dad)?  I guess I haven't blogged because they are so tender...

The last week and half of my Dad's life, I hope to never forget.  He taught me so much about life.  I feel so blessed to been apart of the "PUTTER TEAM" (Mom, Dana, Sandra) to be able take care of  him, and share in his experiences, and of his last days on earth. 

Maybe latter I will tell more of this experience but for now....

Visitation- (is what it is called when there is no body to view, since Dad was cremated, we had a visitation.) Dad wanted a ice cream party since that was his favorite and he ate it almost every single night.  So we had a ice cream party with chocolate almonds, and socialized.  We had lots of pictures and things that Dad has worked on and created over his life time.  " A walk down memory lane" is what we called it.

Funeral- was done by family...

Dad's last ride in EZ...

 

He loved this truck and worked so hard in restoring it!

 

Mom wanted to ride with Dad and the grand kids to the cemetery.

 

Oliver and Danny was the Pallbearers.

 

So sweet Danny and Olivia hugging.

 

United Mine Workers Tribute..

 

Military Honors..

 

Logan and Maddi

 

 

Our family

 

Dad and Mom's Posterity..

 

PUTTER TEAM

 

Mom saying her goodbyes.

 

Olivia

 

Dad's favorite saying..

 

"Wherever you go

There you are"

 

The box he was buried in held Mom and Dad's love letters for 40 some years.  They had lots of love letters since Dad had been in the Wyoming National Guard for 6 years.  Mom kept the letters.

 

This song was also played at the graveside.  Shortly before my Dad died he told my Mom this song was his story.

 

Kris Kristofferson — Why Me Lord lyrics

 

verse 1:

why me lord?
what have i ever done,
to deserve even one,
of the pleasure i've known,
tell me lord,
what did i ever do,
that was worth lovin' you,
for the kindness you've shown,

chorus:
lord help me Jesus,
i've wasted it so help me Jesus,
i know what i am,
but now that i know,
that i needed you so help me Jesus,
my souls in your hand,

verse 2:
try me lord,
if you think there's a way,
i can try to repay,
all i've takin' from you,
maybe lord,
i can show someone else,
what i've been through myself,
on my way back to you,

chorus (x2)

Jesus, my soul's in your hands

 

Love you Dad...

 

 

Dad

 

My Dad passed away on July 5th Friday 2013 at 9:45pm at his home.