DYING

 

Have you ever watched someone die?

 

MY Dad is dying.....

 

"We can't save him, we can only love him" dp

 

Two weeks or two months, says the Dr.

 

Your choice is two weeks or two months, well which choice do you want?

 

You can go home now and you will be delirious and die within 2 weeks or you can do another chemo

 

hopefully help you not be delirious and maybe live 2 months.  Oh and by the way you will loose all

 

your hair and be sick, and you could die from the chemo too!

 

What do you choose?

 

Do you want plan a or plan b?

 

How does one make such a choice?  and why should one have to make that choice?

 

 

My Dad chooses plan b, to try and have 2 more months, and not be delirious.  I can't imagine the

 

weight he must have felt in making such a decision.  The actual process of it is unfathomable.  I know

 

we will all die, sometime, but to have a time limit!  Who can work under that kinda pressure?  What

 

do you do and how do you do it all, with the limitations you have?  So many questions so little time

 

for answers? 

 

I do know one thing, I love him!  I have always loved him!  Admire him, appreciate him, love his

 

sense of humor and those big blue eyes.  I loved him when his hands were calloused, rough, greasy  

 

over worked; to now when his hands are as soft as a babies bum, and no grease.  I love him with hair,

 

I love him without hair, I love him.  Thanks Dad for being my hero in a battle that is terrifying,

 

bloody, devastating, and painful!  You have fought valiantly and your time has almost come when

 

you can rest!  You can take shelter from the shrapnel, that pierces your body, and takes you hostage. 

 

You can find comfort in knowing you have fought valiantly and strong!  You have the courage like

 

a lion, the meekness like a lamb, and you can't go into battle without humor like a hyena, you have

 

that too!  You are a rock solid and firm!  Thanks for all you do for me, you are a knight in shinning

 

armor.  I hope to always feel your arms around me, hear your laughter in the air, and know that you

 

are safe! I love you Dad, always and forever, to infinite and beyond!!!